My Dad came with to meet my new oncologist Dr. Mala Reddy. I'm really happy with her. She meet with us for over an hour, answered all our questions and never rushed us. It felt great being listened to and heard.

"Infiltrating ductal carcinoma" again. The tumors are hormone positive Er+/PR+, HER2- again. Grade 2 (moderately growing cancer cells) again. We won't know what stage it is, if it's metastasized, or if I need chemo until the pathology report after surgery. So far it looks the same as the first cancer and in the same area so it's considered a local recurrence. With a mastectomy and no cancer found in the lymph nodes, about 5 out of 100 women will have a local recurrence in the armpit or the chest wall within ten years. Lucky me, I got both. Maybe I should play the lottery.

It's hard not to wonder whether my lifestyle has been a contributing factor to the tumors coming back (too much alcohol/sugar, not enough exercise). But breast cancer recurrence has nothing to do with lifestyle choices, character traits or emotional stress. Regardless, I'm going to try to make some changes to get my body in the best health it can be.

Pre surgery advice to follow:
• Get regular exercise
• Eat things that agree with me and that I enjoy
• Find the right balance of activity and relaxation
• Get as much restful sleep as I can
• Generally do things I enjoy

Lifestyle changes post surgery:
• I need to commit to lifting weights 3 times a week to help improve bone density. (Scott is more than willing to be my personal trainer, so I just need my future self to kick my present self in the ass and get off the couch and work out consistently)
• Need to find walking buddies to get out and walk more often. Anyone know of any buddy fitness apps? I used Walkadoo for a work challenge and I actually was out every day getting my steps, but it doesn't work with iOS anymore. I'm trying to find an app so friends near and far can connect and encourage each other to get more active.
• Diet changes. Not sure what yet, but trying to figure it out.

On Thursday 5/2, I'm going in for my first bone scan and CT scan to check for any other areas of concern that would warrant more biopsies. Until we get those results I'm trying to keep busy and not think or talk about it as there are too many variables and it's easy to wander down dark what ifs. It was reassuring that my oncologist said we did all we could the first time with what we knew. Medically they wouldn't have done anything different. Just the luck of the draw, no real reason for recurrence. Knock on wood it hasn't spread...

4/29/19

How did we get back here?

About a year ago I noticed a bump on my implant and that my scar tissue was feeling different. My oncologist retired after a heart attack and my care was transferred to a Physician Assistant. At my last two wellness checkups I brought up my concerns which were dismissed.

"Are you losing weight?" No. "Do you have joint pain or bone pain?" No. "Then it's probably just scar tissue or fat deposits". So as long as I'm not losing weight or having pain it's not cancer? "Yes".
All 3 areas grew and 2 were painful, so I found a new doctor and insisted on testing.

My cancer was hormone positive, so I'm on tamoxifen to suppress hormones which is supposed to prevent a recurrence. Fat necrosis was a more logical assessment but ultra sounds and MRIs can't tell the difference between fat necrosis and cancer, so the ever fun biopsies were needed.

It took an hour for the doctor to take 9 samples of the 2 tumors in my armpit as one was really deep and right on a muscle she didn't want to hit. She injected a ton of local anesthetic (which has made my thumb feel like it has carpel tunnel) and used an ultra sound to guide the needle to the right location. It sounded like a gun when she shot and pulled out samples to biopsy. Really weird feeling and experience. My arm kept going numb having to hold it over my head.
Needle biopsies were last Monday, on Wednesday they called me at work to let me know both tumors are cancer. It's been a mental rollercoaster to say the least. I went into today's appointment with surgeon prepared to say good bye to my new boob (look how pretty it is!) but now I may be able to keep it.

For now I'm just trying to get through surgery and the waiting game until we know more. I'm really hoping we can find some answers as to why my cancer came back, but more importantly figure out how we can completely eliminate it this time.

4/23/19

I have cancer. Again. :(

I've kinda been physically falling apart lately which led to lots of appointments and testing/biopsies. The 2 tumors in my underarm tested positive for cancer, the endometrial biopsy came back normal, so that’s a plus but still not sure what is causing my abdominal pain and other issues. The tumor board discussed my case and I met with my surgeon today to go over treatment options. After he did an exam, he said "that changes things". Luckily, in a good way. Because the lump on my breast is so far away from the 2 tumors, we may not have to remove the implant and any remaining breast tissue.

The plan is to remove the 2 cancer tumors in my armpit, some lymph nodes and the 3rd lump on the implant that's too close to the skin to do a biopsy. After surgery everything gets sent to pathology, we figure out what stage the cancer is and if it has spread to any lymph nodes. If all good, then radiation and next steps. If the lump on my implant is an aggressive cancer or if it’s spread we may have to remove the implant and determine next steps. Won’t know if chemo is recommended until after pathology report.

I meet my new oncology doctor tomorrow. Then I have a bone scan and CT scan scheduled for next week to see if there are any other spots that would warrant a biopsy. Surgery is scheduled for May 13.

"What do you need? How can I help?" Right now, I'm doing the best I can. Trying to stay positive and wrap up work and house projects before surgery. We don't need any financial assistance. My work has amazing insurance and medical leave coverage so we're incredibly lucky (THANK YOU PANDORA!). We will set up a meal train, so if you want to drop off food or come visit during my recovery that would be greatly appreciated. I'll send an update when the sign up is ready.

I truly appreciate all of the support from family, friends, work and acquaintances. I am having a hard time talking about it, it's much easier to write updates. Until we know more I'm trying to focus on the light and avoid the dark "what ifs".

For those that want more medical details (or want to see my boob) read the next "New Post".

4/23/19