3rd round of chemo plus Zarxio shots wiped me out last week. I could barely get out of bed for several days. People ask me how I find humor and stay positive, and I think “I have to”. The thought of not being there for my kids, shit, I can’t handle that. So I have to do whatever I can to get through this, again.

And then Taylor Swift drops this song she wrote about her mom’s cancer recurrence. I can’t stop 😭😭😭😭😭. I’ll be listening to "Lover" on repeat. Taylor Swift, please tour soon!!! My daughter and I are waiting to buy tickets as soon as I kick cancer's ass.

Listen here: Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. The Chicks) by Taylor Swift

Soon You'll Get Better
The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair
In doctor's office lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared
That was the first time we were there
Holy orange bottles, each night, I pray to you
Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too
And I say to you...

Ooh-ah
Soon, you'll get better
Ooh-ah
Soon, you'll get better
Ooh-ah
You'll get better soon
'Cause you have to

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror
You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal
I just pretend it isn't real
I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky
I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try
And I say to you...

Ooh-ah
Soon, you'll get better
Ooh-ah
Soon, you'll get better
Ooh-ah
You'll get better soon
'Cause you have to

And I hate to make this all about me
But who am I supposed to talk to?
What am I supposed to do
If there's no you?

This won't go back to normal, if it ever was
It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because
'Cause I have to

Ooh-ah
You'll get better
Ooh-ah
Soon, you'll get better
Ooh-ah
You'll get better soon
Ooh-ah
Soon, you'll get better
Ooh-ah
Soon, you'll get better
Ooh-ah
You'll get better soon
'Cause you have to

8/23/19